Funny Quotes and One liners - II

1. Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
   
2. He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.
   
3. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
   
4. I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.
   
5. I like getting married, but I don't like being married.
   
6. Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.
   
7. Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does.
   
8. The difference between playing the stock market and the horses is that one of the horses must win.
9. The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
10. The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
11. Algebra was easy for the Romans because "X" was always 10.